Scots of Bohemia

This blog is a dump site for my creative explorations. All doodles are done during 50 minute class periods. All work is my own unless otherwise specified, so please don't steal it (feel free to reblog it though) Also Feel free to comment if you like something, or if you don't, I'd love criticism too...

An Update on Where I’ve Been

Hello Neglected Viewers of this Blog,

It has been quite sometime since I said anything on here… Sorry. I’ve been overcome by other projects and life and stuff. The good news is that there is a blog with lots of my writing (and some of my illustrations) on the internet again. The bad news is it is not this blog.

A good friend of mine and I are trying to begin an online magazine of weird fiction. The magazine is called Wyrd Magazine (because clever names suck) and is available on Wordpress, and on an auxiliary site here on Tumblr! (Yes, I know we all hate having to click something to actually read a post, but that is how it has worked out for this magazine thus far, sorry).

I am currently writing The Imbibers serialized story, all about drinking magic and such, while my friend Tyler is telling the fairy/christian mythology influenced Wicken Tales. We have high hopes that we will not be the only two posting on Wyrd Magazine, and with that in mind I would encourage any folks writing strange weird things to check out our submissions page and send us some of your work! We’d love to read it and work with you to publish it on our page! Email us at

As far as the Haiku story goes, that is on indefinite hiatus, but might be a nice fit on Wyrd Magazine, and may eventually find its way in as yet another serialized story/poem.

If you are really hankering for more of my writing (no matter the sort) I am still quite active on Tumblr over at Beer in my Belly where I review and rant about craft beer and such.

To conclude, for the time being, Scots of Bohemia is a dormant/defunct blog that is now mainly functioning as my Tumblr profile/name. I thank you all for following me, and realize most of you that were following me don’t even remember why at this point. Cheers to all, and please follow my other two blogs! Beer in my Belly and Wyrd Magazine are both pretty neat.

Take care folks.

Haiku Hiatus/ Where are the Doodles!?!

Hey All,

Sorry for my extended hiatus, I’ve been on internship this semester and my other blog has been taking up a lot of time.  As some may have noticed, I occasionally post beer reviews on this blog by mistake every now and again… This is because I also am running the blog BEER IN MY BELLY which is an awesome blog about the beer I drink, the places I drink it, and my ruminations on the craft beer world.  For all of you that followed the Beer in My Belly blog and were like “Why the fuck didn’t this guy follow me back?” And then were followed by this random haiku and doodle blog, this is why.  Tumblr wont let me follow anyone under the Beer in My Belly moniker.  That is just a blog i guess, but the Scotts of Bohemia is also Beer in My Belly, so if you are followed/liked by one you are follow/liked by the other.  

I apologize for my hiatus on this blog. I do have some doodles up and running, I just need to get to a scanner, so I apologize for that.  As far as the haiku story goes, I’m not quite sure when that will start up again.  I know its only one haiku a day, but I’m kind of swamped with writing stuff right now. I promise to continue it, it just may take awhile is all.  Until then, cheers, beers, and all that! Check out my other blog if you still want a weekly dose of me.


The Owner of this Blog

Alfonso shuddered.

His skin sparked with electrycal 

pulses of blue lightning

Smothering her hand

With the thick and oozing substance,

She smeared it upon him

She clucked at the wounds

And grabbed up a jar of salve

From a shelf near by.

Welts like cracked ice

Spidered across his body

Oozing blood and puss

She moved him onto 

A modest bed and removed

His clothes to check his wounds

"I suppose it feels

Too good…” The woman mumbled,

While smiling down at him.

A Story of Sequei: The Haiku Story (Part 8)

“It is for the pain,”

She mimicked as the cold syringe

Popped his skins surface.

Alfonso then howled

Clutching his arm as blue gel

Pussed into his veins

The gel burned through blood

Silencing pain receptors

And the man’s pained howls.

“Hey,” Alfonso cried,

“It feels good… It feels really good!”

Then his chin cracked ground.

A Story of Sequei: The Haiku Story

Greetings. I have now named the story as the title nicely shows. This is  the tale so far.  For those who are new, I am telling a story completely in haiku.

A six-gun side arm

Was all Alfonso needed.

It ended poorly.

With shit brown eyes and

A lost quantity of faith 

Hope seemed a bit small

But Alfonso held on

Perturbed by chainmen in glass,

He bit shattered teeth

Spitting out the refuse

Of a bloodied mouth.  He smiled.

The embers bubbled.

But Alfonso heard

Nothing but the thump of glass

Fists beating his flesh

And a list of the

Grievances held against his person.

The chainmen beat on

As if to prefect

From his skin a new bruised glass

To add to their fists

Burrowing bellows.

Alfonso smiled again, spitting

Out his bloodied teeth.

“The pain’s getting me

Aroused, dear gentlemen,”

He laughed through the blows

The bulge of his pants

Illustrating his words, nicely.

The chainmen all paused.

Disgust painted one

Man’s face, in between the hanging

Chains of his metal flesh

“That’s damn near podgy!”

The chainman cried between his

Barred up lips and teeth.

And beat down harder

With an old wicked grimace

Coating his disgust

“This is all we can

Give to the son of Losch,” he

Cried in jangling anger.

“You stole from chainmen,

You raped what was not yours to.

Now is your judgment”

“Yes, but it was quite

Pleasurable… the raping…”

Alfonso noted.

Sarcasm did drip

Like soup from Alfonso’s chin.

“Most wouldn’t call it rape”

“The goods were taken

Without proper recompense,”

The chainman snarl-ed.

“The good’s were withheld

From starving children, shithead.”

Alfonso snarled back.

“Some of the goods the

Were small children, ya shithead.”

The Chainman snarled back 

Bulging lights from black

cast street lamps oozed effervescent 

Liquid light on the street

As the men cast snarls

At one another. One man

Bloody, the others quite grim.

Stray light passed between

the conversation, eyes flickered

And Alfonso smiled.

“I think I’ll be going

Now,” he laughed out suddenly

As his eyes sparkled

Time split and quivered

And Reality warped and twist

Alfonso out of time

Time breathed. Fate sat still.

Alfonso was a flower

And then a man again.

Shadows danced on the wall

As time recoalesced in another place.

Alfonso smiled wolfishly. 

A woman smiled from 

Beside him.  Hair dipped in ink

And lips blossoming.

“Did my brothers ask  

After me?” She queried, raising one

Languid black eye brow.

“Did they scold you on

The rape of my innocence

And my under loins?”

“No,” Alfonso said,

“But they did ask after the grain…

Shows what they value…”

He smiled impishly

And the woman set her lips

To a deep red pout.

“My brothers do love

Me,” she pouted, eyes stirring like

thick moonglass drizzle.

“I’m sure they do, dear,”

He consoled.  “But they love their

damn materia more”

“The chains run through more

Than their arms,” she sniffed, whilst her

Fingers tapped her head.

“Yes, yes, dear,” he sighed

“Your brothers are really quite dumb,

Thank the Gods you aren’t”

“Thank the Gods they are,”

She shot back, “Or they probably

Would have kill-ed you.”

She took his face in

Caramel tanned hands, tracing

Out the bruises and cuts on it.

Alfonso winced and

Licked the pooling blood on his lips.

“ ‘Suppose I look a mess?”

He chuckled, spritzing out

Some of the blood with each shake

Of his broken body.

“You look damn near ready

To die,” She cried, her hand held

Out to trace his scars

He smiled, spat, and said,

“Fear not my dear, my cock is fine.”

The woman softly laughed.

Her hands pressed tight on

His groin, and she smiled sensually.

“People still need to eat though”

She noted, pouting out

Her lips.  “There are still children

Dying.  And my brothers still roam.”

“My dear, the troubles

Of the world cannot be cured

in a day,” Alfonso noted.

“Yes, but you can kill

My brother’s in a day,” she 

Smiled oh so cruelly.

Alfonso’s eyebrows

Furrowed up in slight surprise.

“You want your brothers dead?”

"That" the lady pondered

"May be necessary if

They do continue.

“Their pig headed ways 

must end, and they did beat me

As a girl” she laughed.

“But they are your kin?” 

"That doesn’t stop them from looking

At me with such lust.

“I have no care for

My chain faced kin.  They sold their

Souls a long time ago

“To a god that is

More earth than being,” she spat.

"I have no brothers, now."

“Damn, Tabe Tumminnei”

The man called as he poured out

A glass of black wine.

The liquid burnt in

The light bulb’s glow, and the woman glared.

“It’s for the pain,” he said.

The woman turned from him

In anger she rifled through

A cupboard of oddities

She emerged pouring

A strange bubbling blue liquid

Into a thick syringe.

“Gah! What is that for?”

The man asked, backing away.

“You,” the woman smiled.